Over Controlling Your Life

Coffee shops seem to be my mecca for relaxation and self-reflection. They offer me refuge from the chaos of work and life in general. People seem to be more relaxed and inviting. Perhaps it’s the fresh aroma of coffee beans and herbal teas that permeate the air or the oven freshness of the gourmet pastries? I’m not sure, but I can say that my thinking is at its best when I embrace the comfort of the lush leather chairs and drink my hot tea. What’s really great is that I don’t try and control anything while here, I just let things happen. And this is likely the most profound insight I’ve discovered.

I can’t help but think about all those people I know, who do the right thing and set goals and dreams for themselves to aspire to. But, upon second glance, they seem to be overly busy on too many things and involved in too many details so as to have absolute control on a precise outcome. I’m very strong on goal setting, as it’s a cornerstone to bringing one fulfillment; however, it’s also important to remain flexible in the attainment of the goal itself, otherwise you’ll find yourself simply going through the motions.

A recent trip by a colleague triggered my fascination with this over exuberance to perfection and control. He had planned a 2-week trip to Paris for one year, noting every place he was going to visit, the times when he was going to visit, and what he was going to buy. It was really quite impressive just how well managed and controlled his experience was going to be.

When he returned, I asked him how he enjoyed the experience. “Wonderful,” he said. “However, next time, I’ll to plan to see some other sites and sounds, as I didn’t have time to do these things.”

How often have you ever heard someone say something like this?

I’m not sure if he liked my candor, but my response was quite spontaneous, “Actually, you had all the time in the world, it’s just that you became so fixated on the details in your planning that you prevented yourself from actually ‘experiencing’ your trip.”

That’s just it, he became so rigid in his planning that he didn’t even change it to experience everything that he was experiencing or wanted to experience. Flexibility in the attainment of our dreams is the key piece that allows us to not only reach them, but to experience them in ways we never imagined. So, as you execute your plans, ensure that they remain flexible. It’s this flexibility that lets you experience the joys of life. So stop planning so much and take the time to experience life as life happens.

Have you experienced life lately?

Feel free to share your answer in the comments.

Other Time Trading Gurus


ebele presents Increase your fulfilment in life starting today. posted at Street-side convos.


Martin Poldma presents An Unconventional Way for Dealing With Stress posted at Success and Personal Development Blog.


Andrew presents Starting a business: Guide for Graduates – student-finance.com.au posted at student-finance.com.au, saying, “Graduating from university gives you a real chance to put your knowledge to work in your own business, its also likely to be one of the best life experiences you could have. However university cant prepare you for much of the practical issues business owners will face, this article covers some of these fundamental considerations that young entrepreneurs will face.”

Josephine Hagan presents 5 principles successful entrepreneurs use to start a business posted at Effective Enterprise.

DREAM Process

Chaki Kobayashi presents The Ideal Life posted at Our Mind Is the Limit.

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of
work life balance and goal setting using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

3 Responses to Over Controlling Your Life
  1. Andrew says:

    Would like to experience life, too busy with work! Looking forward to a holiday soon. Was very impressed with Martin Poldma’s article, great read!

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