The trip to the outdoor market was bountiful, as it always is. I was fortunate today to strike up a conversation with the vendor and a few customers meandering about like me. Aside from the platitudes around the weather and our ability to snag a parking space, somehow our conversations steered toward things we wished for in life.
The story that struck me the most was a guy who wanted to be a manager to make more money, but got so overwhelmed with the work that once he became a manager the lust for the goal was no longer there. He said he quit shortly after obtaining his goal. He was still trying to figure out what he wanted to do. I couldn’t help think how sad this was. This guy spent 10 years of his life pursing this goal, then when he obtained it, he quit. It was such as waste to spend so much time of one’s life on a pursuit they didn’t really understand.
I have often wondered what motivates people and why they behave the way they do. I recall from my university days the theories of Maslow, who developed a theory to explain the driving force behind our wants. Wants require us to be willing to do what it takes to achieve it. We’re self-motivated to achieve our wants. Our wants are essentially the spark that drives us to achieve our goals. It’s our source of energy. And for some of us our desire for the want is so strong that the energy is limitless.
When we understand why we want to achieve something, it makes it easier for us to garner the energy to achieve it. Incredibly, few people actually understand why they want to pursue something. Sometimes it’s because their parents did it so they feel they need to do it as well. Other times it’s because they were told to do it. Think about kids for a second. How many kids are doing things because their parents have “told” them that they should do it? Or, the worker who is told what job is best for them?
When we take the time to understand why we want to achieve something, the discovery process may lead us to realize that the goal may not lead us to satisfy our internal desires. For example, a person may want to lose weight to be happy and attract a partner. After losing the weight, however, the person is miserable. He in turn doesn’t attract a partner, as no one wants to be with a miserable person. The goal in this instance is to lose weight, the internal desire is to be happy and attract a partner. The goal of losing the weight was achieved, but the internal desire of being happy and attracting a partner was not.
In essence, the person achieved his practical goal, but failed to achieve his needs or internal desires. Both are essential to successfully reach our goal. These two elements help us understand why we want to attain the goal. The motives, needs, or internal desires are just as important as the goal itself; it’s the component that gives the goal meaning; it’s why we want the goal.
Our expectations of the goal are conscious choices we make to maximize our pleasure and eliminate or minimize pain. The degree to which we believe we’ll attain a goal drives our internal motivation to achieve it. We ask ourselves, “What’s the probability that I’ll achieve this goal if I work hard?” We’re motivated to work toward achieving the goal if we feel we can in fact achieve it.
Do you understand why you want your goals?
Other Time Trading Gurus
Jana presents Are You Creating Your Life or Trying To Control Your Life? posted at Wisdom Ink Blog.
Sydney Bell presents How to Tell People What You Do in 30 Seconds or Less posted at Longhorn Leads, LLC, saying, “An elevator speech is a short but effective description of your line of work that can be given if you found yourself in an elevator with a potential professional connection In a job market that’s still highly competitive as the economy struggles to rebound, it’s more essential than ever that professionals look for new and innovative ways of marketing themselves when the opportunity arises.”
John Schmoll presents Finding the Inspiration for Becoming Rich Through Financial Curiosity posted at Frugal Rules, saying, “We all come to grips with our finances at various stages of life. By learning how our finances work earlier we can get a better understanding of what we’re doing and better enable us to grow our wealth in the long run.”
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